Remembering

I kept a hand written journal during my pregnancy and I was leafing through the entries the other day. I was much more disciplined at the beginning of the pregnancy, as time went on and my pregnancy progressed, I switched to the blog. It was easier to write online and not reflect so intimately on the happenings. I found that the journal entries were very emotionally involved, I usually addressed the boys, writing to them as if they will read it in their future, which I am sure they will with a very “jeez, mom!” attitude (being that they are boys, you know). It was easier before all the pre-tern labor started, before the bed rest. Anyway, I found this entry and I really, really liked it and thought it might strike a chord with some of the moms-in-waiting out there, if they are reading. Here it is:

Remember when?
Remember when you thought you could smell the toilet from the bed and could not imagine enduring 10 months of it?

Remember when?
Remember when you felt sick to your stomach and had to barf at least once a day, usually during your hike with Daddy?

Remember when?
Remember when you found out it was not one, but two babies and you didn’t think you could wait to find out what the mix was in there?

Remember when?
Remember when you were waiting for that first movement and you did not know what it would feel like and would jump at any feeling?

Remember when?
Remember when all those things felt like they would last forever (especially the toilet thing)?

Those things, they feel distant now.

Someday, and much quicker than I think, this time will become remember when and I will be lying in bed with my husband and babies and think…Remember when I had time to write?

February 1, 2007

I wrote this after I learned that I would be one of those special few that would get to experience the joys of bed rest. I was scared, terrified really, and trying to bolster my spirits and hope for the best. So strange, to think it was then; now the boys are here, burbling and cooing as I write, squirming out of their swaddles as they are wont to do. God, I love these boys. (BTW: newborns are really loud, they make all sorts of squeaks and squeals, creaky door hingey sounds. Just thought you might want to know if you are waiting on your first. Babies are weird but so very cool.) I would recommend that if you are so inclined you keep a bit of a journal for yourself, I am finding it fascinating to reflect on. Plus, the writing is much more coherent than my sleep-deprived brain could conjure up at this time. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Post on some knit action to come…someday. Guess I should change the name to Mamie Feeds/Burps/Wipes/Pumps Bits. Ha.