Loving Antalya

I'm in a bit of a love affair right now.


With my knitting. Yeah. Always try to keep it racy around here, right? But this friend of mine, one that had taken back seat for some time, has now come to the forefront and I am loving it though my wrists and fingertips are not.

It started with this hat designed by MJ.


I rarely peruse Ravelry right now, just not enough time. The lack of exposure to beautiful knits definitely cools the inclination to knit. But Julia linked up to the hat in a group email and I instantly fell in love. Interesting construction, cables, short rows. What is not to love? And then I felt up the test knit at our holiday meet up and I knew I had to commit. And I am so glad I did.

I am not done ... and I know people rarely actually blog about knitting anymore, especially without a FO to show, but man, I am loving this knit.

I am also finding myself highly in love with the recommended yarn, Valley Yarns Amherst. Warm 100% wooliness. The combination is irresistible and is helping my knitting mojo in spades.

The other thing spurring it is the fact that we might actually someday live in a climate that encourages the wearing of 100% wool handknit sweaters (for you non-knitters out there ...when you combine wool and hand knitting they tend to produce a very very warm garment). I have been discouraged in the past by knitting something that I wear only once or twice a year due to the lack of seasons in Southern California. Last weekend up in Northern California in the foothills hovering just below the snow line, all I could think about was thick knitted cabled cardigans, and cowls, and hats and scarves and mittens (oh my!). Highs in the 40s and lows in the teens make for knitted clothing options indeed.

And so in a possibly unwise, but I cannot help myself decision, I have recommitted to knitting this amazing, cable dense, hand wrecking love of a cardigan, the Saddle shoulder Aran cardigan designed by EZ/Meg Swanson and re-intepreted by Jared of Brooklyntweed glory. The ribbon, the horse shoe, the saddle shoulder. All so lovely, and possibly worn by myself in the future quasi farm setting perfectly complemented by my Hunter wellies. Ah the dreams we dream.

But to be honest, I have always wanted to knit that cardi and the hat I am working through is a reminder of the powerful beauty that is produced by the simple act of string on stick, loop and pull through. Those of you who do knit know the joy of watching a piece unfold and twist and turn in a language that is literally dictated by two bits, not 0 and 1, but knit and purl.

Those of you that do not knit, how I wish you could. If only to watch with fascinated eyes as your hands make this out of the hieroglyphs that is a knitting pattern chart.


Oooh, it feels good to have some knitting mojo back. And if I do work my way through the saddle shoulder cardigan and find that my mojo holds, how about this for a beauty of a piece. Alice Starmore has re-released her book Aran Knitting with a new pattern combining the joy of cables with the option of shaping to avoid that boxy sweater look that makes curvy girls look like sacks o'potatoes. Is it weird that I am dreaming of the knitting of Eala Bahn already? Probably.

Giving Time

The weekend may have held 80 degree temperatures and short sleeve shirts but the spirit of the season was well and truly celebrated by me and mine.

Saturday was the meet up of my lovely L.A. knitting friends, we had exchanged Secret Santas with the guidelines being something simple and hand made. These exchanges always make me giddy because 1) they all have amazing taste and 2) making for others just makes me giddy. I was super excited to get Shan because I just love her and she has a little one that I knew I had to make for too.


For Shan I chose to make the quick coasters from Last Minute Patchwork Gifts. I love all the Joelle Hoverson books because they hold simple projects that you can really make.

Her aesthetic is flawless and the coasters were a snap. It is always nice to use lots of pretty fabrics and play with the color palette. I also had to make Shan the little Inchworm from Wee Wonderfuls Doll book. This little betty was too sweet and kinda' hard to give up. And the book with 24 projects? I am thinking of doing them all ... just sew them one by one until I am done. That is how good her book is.

Miss Bean got Ellie the Elephant, another project in LMPG.

I have wanted to make this toy forever and it seemed perfect for a sweet toddler girl to squeeze and love. My boys thought she was pretty lovable too so she went to Bean with some good happy love imbued in her stuffed body. The pattern was simple enough and I finally have confidence in sewing curves. The only thing was the stuffing. Man, that round little elephant took a load of stuffing, it seemed like I just had to keep adding and adding and still her legs were not firm enough to support her weight. Pudgy thing, isn't she?

I am so glad I made it because Shan told me that Bean's favorite thing ever is elephants. Which I did not know when I chose the project. Talk about being spot on, right?

We had a great time talking and eating and exchanging and squealing at each others gifts and looking at patterns and doing what we do. We also decided that we are bringing the L.A. Group to Rhinebeck 2011, right ladies? And the knitalong, right?

My SS was MJ and she made me a freaking fantastic pillow cover. Beyond fantastic, actually. Of her own design, of course. She is such an amazing designer so I want to be sure all knitters who still read here know about her latest hat design over at Twist. Look at this hat. Look at it!


Photo by Twist Collective :

Here is the pattern link. We are going to do a knitalong on Ravelry, so come and join us if you will. I have a feeling I am going to be knitting more than one version of this. There is just too much cabled goodness. Now buy the pattern, get some yarn and let's get on it. And thanks, MJ, for the beautiful gift and lighting my knitting fire again.

All in all, it was a wonderful afternoon with wonderful women that I do not see nearly enough. Until next time, friends.

LOVE 2 :: Friends

Day two of my LOVE week dawns with two fevered toddlers, diagnosed not with Black Lung but an ear infection and bronchitis. Dual doctor trip, moderately nightmarish trip to Target pharmacy and now Home. I am in it to win it, so this is going to go on. It makes me feel better. Let's hope the abx make them feel better.

Today? I love friends. Don't we all? I have to say, I am not the friendliest of people. I like the idea of friends, but it is hard work sometimes. Despite my best efforts to drive most away, some stick around. And sometimes I even make new ones. I mentioned in a Mondo post that I have found a good one via the dreaming course. Her name is Jen and she is super cool. She made my day yesterday with an unexpected package in the mail that contained this...


How totally cool, right? And just so you know, she has her own business that specializes in really cool stuff. How cool, you ask? Check it out and then check out her suggested gift ideas for the Valentine's Day upcoming....or really any day that needs a treat.

I am learning about friendship as I go, the give and take of long distance email, the patience crafted when you realize that this person, this one that you bond with half way across the nation, maybe half way across the world are not readily available at all times. May not even be physically available at any time. It is a new definition of the endearment. As friendship stretches and changes its meaning in my life, as I make (and sometimes break) the bonds of online friendship, I find myself reflecting on the fact that though there is not the same immediacy that happens when you meet that new friend that you just know you could sit and talk to all night, there is a new appreciation for the bonds. They start tentative, with a comment or a short email, toe dipped in water, hoping for a return. And then they show themselves at times to be lovely and right and fitting.

One of my Mondo Beyondo wishes read like this :: Make friends that last, that care, that like Me, that are complex and smart and whole.

And that is happening as I write, as I reach and as I share. Love comes in so many forms and I am happy that for a girl that was quite accustomed to flying solo when it came to the world of women, I can say I feel that love in daily ways.

So, thanks, my lovely and sometimes too ephemeral friends. I know you are there, and I love that. And someday when we pull up in our Vanagon and stop by to cook you dinner, I know you won't flinch to have friends that live in a van down by the rivier.

Make A Blanket, Win a Bag

Last year, about this time, Ravelry held their first SoCal event at Unwind. It was fun and my little group of knitting women gathered. I met and became a good friend of Jillian. Mary Heather came into town and I met the rock stars of Ravelry, Jess and Casey.

This year it came around again, our little group considerably smaller. MH was back, Julia knit this amazing piece to wear,


Shan slipped out for the night...Jillian got sick and we missed celebrating our first anniversary of friendship, Lori went to Canada and MJ is gallivanting through France, finding the latest class 5.3 to climb and designing some gorgeous and intriguing patterns, Kat was on the road with family. It was a fun time...though the absent were missed.

This year I was delighted to see the women from Namaste again.

(Kelly last year)
Kelly and Dawn are so funny and wonderful and their banter makes my sides hurt. Kelly insisted she had started a blog, but I was a little hazy from the sparkly pinot and could not find it. I told her she did not know what she was talking about (I think). But the next day, I did find the blog. Apparently I did not know what I was talking about. I am so happy that I did finally find it.

If you are not familar with the Namaste line of bags and accessories, you can see them here. These are local girls with a huge commitment to their business, but they are also caring and lovely individuals. Their latest blog post is a call to arms, well, knitting needles and sewing machines. They are holding a donation event, requesting hand made lap blankets to be given to children at CHLA. They did an awesome event for the Humane Society previously and I love how they just keep going. They are giving away prizes via raffle and I know there some readers here who are talented in creating.


I would love it if you clicked through and read for yourself. The deadline is January 31, which gives one a few weeks to work on a piece. I am working on a flannel blanket with some handwork, another fuzzy and soft fleece and another simple quilted cotton blanket. The request is for the pieces to be at least 24' by 24' which makes for a do-able and quick project. It is not much time, but I think it is just enough.


This January marks one year since Tuesday passed and this making has given me some focus, a place to put the prayers that I have felt welling up as the month moves on. Sometimes, I think it is not my place to grieve so much, for this child that was not mine. But she is a powerful soul, a little one that touched my life deeply and deeply touched the lives of many others. So, again, I would ask that if you can make and you love to make and you want to make, do it. And send your embodiment of love and healing to the women of Namaste so that they can pass it on to little ones that need it.


I am doing it for Tuesday, and her Mama, for me, for the littles that may be battling things that are almost too hard, to horrific to contemplate. I hope that you find a reason to pick up some of your favorite fabric and fiber and send some love their way. Namaste.

Using the Hand Knits

One of the great things about cold weather (unexpectedly cold) is the opportunity to use hand knits. (I know I should have anticipated that it would be pretty damn cold at 6000 elevation in early December, but I swear I was too enamoured of the iPhone to even considering doubting it).

We always bring layers and layers for the boys just in case, but Tim and I brought hoodies as our main source of warmth. The irony was that I had pulled out this sweater for Tim to wear up there but forgot to pack it. I did happen upon a vest I had knitted early this year and packed it with the clothes going up. It seemed like a good choice as the yoke was double layer for warmth but sleeveless so I would not get too hot.

(again with the trusting of the iPhone).

My very soft and lovely cowl was in the car, thank god, so there was some warmth in the neck area and it doubled as a great ear warmer.


The boys each had their knits too. I planned on bringing the pair of knitted owl vests for the boys to wear with Santa, but forgot one on the chest in their room. Owen's did make it and turned out cute with a row of green buttons that he helped me pick out of the button bottle.


It took awhile to finish this because it takes me awhile to finish anything. The last little bits of weaving in ends and sewing up armholes and finding buttons just slay me...and the piece lays in wait until I have a reason. The cold was a great reason.

For Mason, I pulled together the cutest little Wraplan sweater (Ravelry link here). I intended to knit this for a little little one, thinking that it would end up fitting a one year old. It basically fits Mace with really short sleeves. I really loved knitting this sweater, it is simple and quick, a little fussy with the neckline, but still fun.


The yarn is so lovely but it did not have a label when I inherited it from Kat. I know it is 100% wool because it kept Mace so warm that his cheeks turned rosy pink. It will go to a little one (gently used, now, of course) I just have to find one that is big enough.

And speaking of Kat Coyle, I read this post on her blog a few days ago.

The Red Scarf project focuses on knitting for orphans. Since this year I am avoiding family gift knitting, I really felt compelled to start a scarf for these kids. I have some soft and chunky red yarn in the initial stage of scarf-dom. I thought I would point any interested readers in the Project's direction...you have until a December 15 deadline to knit up a simple scarf (in red) and send it their way.

It is good that there is a short season for hand knits here in California, even if we had to gain elevation to wear them. Here is hoping for a little more chill to make the season feel merry as Christmas comes (closer and closer, right?)

And just one last shot, my favorite, I think. I love how this shot caught their two personalities so well, such different boys. Mace always a little off balance and adventuresome (almost to a fault). And Owen with steady surefoot, at his brother's side, also adventuresome (almost to a fault). Ah, that pair.

Cowl Swap and other Good Things

Sometimes you get lucky. There are times I have a little blog disenchantment, but then something reminds me and pulls me back to the 'why' of the 'do it'. My knitting ladies are a huge part of that. They were my first experience with contact, with making real connections and the community I found has been invaluable. These women are so talented and lovely and able to knit a mean cowl. A really mean cowl.

So, we planned a cowl swap and a baby shower and a good bye.

They all fell on the same day and it could not have been better. We had the chance to hang out with the coolest kid in the universe and his Mama.

I think Kat is my knitting idol.guru. She is fearless in her design, she walks her design, lives it. I am always a little bit in awe when we meet up, so glad to call her a friend because she is that cool.

And then there is Shannon and Lucy.

She was the baby part of the party. And, bab-eeee. Man, that little girl stole my heart and made my ovaries ache. 75% of my photos featured her because I just could not stop focusing on her. And Shannon is Mama personified. It was so nice to shower her with gifts, all the pieces and fiber and love crafted to give to this little girl. Who has a killer look, all baby doe eyes. I wonder where she might have gotten that from. Shan, you are awesome, seeing you and your baby girl made my heart happy.



The cowls each came out with their own personality, own beauty. It is the first time I have intentionally knit for another (very accomplished) knitter and there were the twinges of fear and panic that she might see my mistakes, but there was also a little bit of envy that she would get the cowl. Whatever it was I knit with, it is soft and plush. And Jillian liked it, so I felt great.

It was funny, we all agreed that we fell a little in love with our own creations and wanted our recipient to love it as much. And we all did. Mine, what can I say? Julia knit mine.


If you would have asked me 5 years ago that one day I would know, hang out with and receive a perfectly gorgeous cowl from Julia, I would have jaw dropped. She was the impetus for the swap, but she was also the first blogger I ever read. So it makes my cowl that much sweeter. Thanks, J.

Swap if you can, knitters. It serves for such a rush of real knitting love.

And last but not least, there was the good bye. Lori has come fully through her Phd, dissertation completed, job procured near her home in Canada. Which means Lori is leaving us. Oh, Lori, I miss you already.

She has made a promise to bring back her blog and for this I am grateful. It would be much too much to lose you totally, L. This woman rocks and I only wish I could have had years more to get to know you in person. Just know I know where you live, Lori. And I might be coming your way. Especially if this country does not clear up their confusion regarding the whole health care reform. Go, social medicine.

Whatever you do, you should always have one of these around. Aching ovaries and all.


And you should always have good good friends. Love to you all. Here is the video message from the boys (ignore the kitchen state, that is what happens when you make ganache filled cupcakes).

Cannot wait to do it again.

Salvaging Heart Day

I read some of the sweet and romantic tributes to loved ones over the weekend ans was glad to see Valentine's panned out for some of my favorite bloggers. And I felt a wee bit jealous as ours went pretty much as predicted.

We woke Saturday morning to 2 fevered and fairly sleepless children that were sporting hacking coughs that would suit a 50 year old chain smoking bar fly better. I tried to salvage the morning with home made pancakes but they literally were not biting, so I broke out the emergency measures.

Champagne and chocolate (not for them, of course, for Tim and I). I still had a bug about making those cupcakes I linked to in the last post, so I strapped one of the 20 pound (plus change) twins into the backpack and got to work in the kitchen. Thank god for the mimosa, it made the weight on the back seem trivial.

The cupcakes came together pretty smoothly, I made sure to prep the ingredients Friday night, so it just required some mixing, melting and pouring (with far too much tasting, I must say).

I loved both recipes, the chocolate cake was enhanced with Murphy's stout rather than Guinness and the taste of the cake was good, intriguing really. They ended up just a bit flat as Tim was giving me a hand in the baking part and pulled them out a minute too soon. No harm done though, especially when we scooped out the centers to add ganache. Yeah, that made them faultless. By the end of the morning I was covered in flour, batter and a little spit up (none in the cakes, I swear, just on me). And a platter full of love to give to friends and others.

A few bright moments in the day...the boys having their V day meal of In n Out. We had to resort to a chocolate shake and fries as we had yet to see food make it to their stomachs.


And Mace blew his first bubble, and I caught it...that was awesome.



We did make it out that night for dinner at our place, but as stellar as the meal was, we were exhausted and knew we were in for another rough night. Our friend works the bar so we sat there and chatted and ate and met a few really nice folks and decided the bar is the place to sit in that tiny little restaurant, you actually get jostled less there than at the tables. Most of our dinner conversation centered around how sad it is to see them sick and how it was hard to remember them being any other way. Parenting is weird like that, each phase or challenge seems all consuming to the memory. Anyway, the night had no romantic finish as we arrived home to a sleepless Mace, up in Opa's lap watching an action flick at 11:30 and needing his Mama for most of the night. But we did have cupcakes, people.

Sunday was a shade better, there was a plan for me to meet up with my circle of knitting friends and a grand destash was to happen. I am not sure I would have made it without the impetus of the yarn giving. Tim was awesome, he and his Dad assumed responsibly for our nap less miserable boys and I scrambled out the door and was greeted by this wonderful sight, a table full of yarn, ripe for the picking.

I was late, this was after some had been taken and traded. And yet somehow I ended up with 2 bags full of yarn and a flawlessly completed Orangina that I will have to model because it feels like it was commissioned.

Lori Z is impeccable in her knitting and finishing and I was honored to take that baby home. I felt like a total glutton as I headed out with my bags of free yarn, but to be fair, I did bring ganache cupcakes, okay?

Anyway, sorry for the blow by blow on the (not terribly) Happy (but still good) Heart Day . I think my testament of love will just be to say to Tim, though it was not achingly sweet, or deeply romantic, it was the two of us standing solidly by each other, giving each other breaks when we needed it, assuming both boys' care when the other needed a shower or a few hours sleep, and being the partner we promised to be.


And in my book, well, that is pretty sexy and pretty loving. (Said as I wipe dripping snot off my nose). Love you, MCD. Maybe next year?

Me by Him, Him by Me, Just the way it should Be

Flare Fridays

A few months ago I started reading the blog of maine momma. I have seen many of her photos and always love the perspective and the light, the subjects rock (a lot of times her kids, but also wonderful objects and landscapes). And the Flare. Oh, the flare. There is a Flickr group devoted to it.


I decided to fore go finishing this week for some good old flare. Weather predictions were for a wet and stormy weekend so we spent much of yesterday outside, in the yard, coloring and digging, climbing and coloring some more. I love the way they embrace making lines and swirls and circles, sharing paper and scheming to get a mark on the wall or window when I turn away. What is up with the graffiti tendencies in small children? Or is it just my little hooligans?



Hope you can find a flare for yourself. Turn the camera to the sun, point down a bit and see what you get. You might be surprised at the image you capture.

And have yourself a lovely weekend. Promise I will be back with some finished bits soon. It is all coming together, albeit a bit slower than I thought.

On Crafting Friends

I remember a day in my earlier twenties when I sat down to think about my life. Profound, right? But it was. I was living in NYC, lonely, far from loved ones and far from comfortable. I wanted to reach out to someone, anyone who really knew me and I realized I couldn't. I searched my thoughts for the person and could not find one. It made me look at the fabric of my past friendships and I realized it was rent with holes, gaps where whole pieces and times had been taken out. And those scraps were lying there, a bit forlorn and discarded.

I had never been easy with female friendships. The ones I had were marked by intensity or competition of a sort, combustion, and in an attempt to avoid confrontation, total cut off. I had such a bad track record with other females I eventually gave up and ended up always hanging out with the guys, wary of the girls and all the complexity that went with it. And that made me sad, looking at it that day. No, I did not get up and find a number and call any of them. That did not feel right. Instead I decided to reach into my memory and gather those scraps and fashion a quilt of sorts. One that pieced my time back together and honored the quality and lovely parts of those friends, leaving the hard behind. And I felt much better that day.

My thirties are proving to be different in my world of friendships. I cannot claim to be a better friend that I was, I still value being alone, connecting when I want, and now, more so, when I can. But in this new time, I have found women to whom I feel truly connected, and friendships have developed that I cherish and wish I had more time to nurture.

Thursday was a celebration of sorts, of the women I have found via knitting and blogging and come to know in the real world as vibrant, intelligent and interesting. I am always glad to come together with them (and meet new ones, Jillian) and discuss not only fiber things, but life, mothering, choices and opinions. I like them all so much and always look forward to the time spent together. Never would I have thought these women would be people I called friend and I am delighted to have them. We who connect via the medium of the Internet 'know' each other in many ways, I am glad I have come to out of the blogworld to be a part of this community.

And the night at Unwind...let's see.

:: Got to meet Jess and Casey of Ravelry fame (felt like I was meeting rock stars, but they are totally awesome and super easy and cool to be around)(Duh)

:: Fell a bit in love with a bag that I did bring home because I fell a bit in love with the owners of the fantastic Namaste business.

(Uh, Dawn and Kelly rock the house and listened to me talk about my kids, and laughed because I guess I am kinda' funny).

::Finally met MJ in person (yay) and loved her like all the rest.

And confirmed with Lori that I can come hang out with her in the O.C. right? (Just joshing, L).

::Enjoyed time with other knitters, all wonderful including the ladies : Julia, Shan, Lori, MJ, Mary Heather, Jillian and Kat. If you have not read their blogs you should. They are all awesome knitters among other things.

::Was the only person to commit the faux pas of knocking over a full bottle of wine (in a knitting shop, mind you) and still they said they liked me and helped me clean up (I used the Mom of Twins with little sleep excuse for that one)(of course it was me, it is always me).


But I want to say thank you, friends. I find myself crafting a new quilt of friendships, one more thoughtful and meticulous than the first. One to be cherished even as we grow and move and change. For the first time in a long time, I find myself comfortable and happy and able to enjoy that which women bring to each other. Mercurial we may be, but essential and validating and just so lovely too. So thanks.

And let's do it again soon, okay?