For Her, For Me

It had been months since I sat in front of my sewing machine. July, actually. The machine collected dust in the corner and any and all projects in the queue sat, neglected or forgotten or undone. I had ideas about this and that; a quilt, a knit hat, a new t-shirt handstitched. But these hands, they remained idle. Well, not idle but tapping out work or turning book pages or wrestling the young boys that fill so much of the hours, those precious ones that are open.

A huge factor in availability of precious hours is work. I think that is the norm for a working mother. A shift to a 5 day work week has rippling effects, it intensifies demands, crushes them into those precious hours and I find I choose making dinner over making 'something'. I find myself on the floor with Lincoln Logs rather than seated at the machine, watching them rather than myself.


There was a shift last week though, both boys sick after a return to the germ haven that is a small children's school. Tim caught the awful bug, my Mama came up against her own health issues, work lightened up. I found myself home more than not for the week. It was an odd feeling, so many hours open and not devoted to work. It felt good.

I found myself pulling out new fabrics, letting the quilt I have been imagining take root in color and shape and design. Math and measure and cutting table. My mind had space for it, even with the demands of small people and one big not feeling well. It felt luxurious.


Over the weekend I was able to pull together the quilt for my newest niece, born 3 weeks ago. I had started a simple red and white 9 patch for her, saw it joined in almost windowpane fashion. The blocks were pieced, sitting in the pile marked 'neglect'. But then she came and pictures of her (and a surprise name switch when she was born) and suddenly she was not Rose but Avery.

I spread the blocks out on the table and saw something else, saw Avery in it and started slicing away. Which is kinda' scary when you have already spent some time piecing together all those 9 patches. The result looked nothing like the initial concept. But then, little Avery is here now, a person who could not be imagined until she appeared and started to share that self.


(Some of it is wonky as all get out but the slicing and piecing improved with each block. Quilting, such a learning curve).

We meet her this week; travel North for job interviews, relocation logistics and then Friday, baby smooshing and kissing. I am so happy to go bearing gifts for her, something that carries all the love this whole household has for her already.

And so, onward to this week. Change is afoot, I felt unsettled and excited and hopeful and so damn scared when I glance around and imagine moving. But the time at the machine? It centers me. It is not the sewing, really. It is the making. The way making something makes me feel. I feel more real. And now the real Me has to move onto hand sewing the yellow binding that Tim suggested.

And when I get back from the Northern sojourn I have this nifty 'newly re-purposed' cabinet to organize and stack full of fabric. The man can do more than pick a wicked binding.

A pie for Mikey

I work in health care. I work in home care. I work with the sick and sometimes the dying. Many of the people I see are more in the ebb than the flow. It is what I do and I feel that I am in it because I do it well.

Over my years in home care I have come to appreciate so many things; the way people feel when they are finally home, in their own clothes, surrounded by their familair things, allowed to have their routines. I worked for years and years in the hospital setting; the world of gowns that lay you literally bare when you dare to move out of bed. Later I moved to the rehab setting where you are allowed to wear your own clothes but you cannot because your left arm and leg do not work so your spouse goes to walmart and gets a hideous pair of pull on sweats that leave your frame swimming and exposes you in a totally different way.



I am trying to say I love home care, love what I do now. And I am digressing far from what I was trying to actually say. Friday night I made a pie. I made it because of a father and mother, husband and wife, family and life that was broken by unforeseen tragedy. She asked for pies in his memory and I felt as if it was a small thing to do in light of the wave of huge loss, maybe a small current sent her way as she reshapes everything that she is.



I see loss on a weekly basis because we have a hospice component to our services. I take hospice patients regularly. It sounds a bit anomalous, rehab in the hospice setting. In these times I go into the home to teach a family member or caregiver how to help make their loved one more physically comfortable, I teach them how to protect their bodies as they struggle to not only care for this dying person but take on roles they never imagined. It is a great privilege to be a part of this but it is never not wrenching.

So, I see death in many forms daily. But this death, this loss, it strikes a different chord. It is one thing to try to accept the process of loss, another to have no say, no warning, no time. It is truly a terrible loss. And so despite the fact that she is a stranger, a person not met yet, I made the pie. I read her post and made the pie and cried as I shopped for the needed items and felt that the loss was not distant.



The pie is still being eaten. My sisters are in town and the little cousins keep running in and out and people keep scooping bites and pieces and asking how to make it and hearing the about the loss of this man. Loving the pie but not the reason for its presence.



Yes, we will all go someday. And none of us know the how or when or why. Won't know. But I do know we are here now and can live best by embracing it all, the big huge messy picture that is our Life. It is not too late to make some pie. Or give some love. Or change things you do not like.





My beloveds.

Food is Good

Food is good. This is something we all know. Lately we have had some good, no, great food around here and I thought I would share a few links. It has been the season of hand pies, the perfect blend of dough and filling and portable to boot. And a few other tidbits ....

Hand Pies :: A long time back I read a post about the book Mad Hungry and the easy and to-die-for pastry dough she includes. I finally got around to the dough and the chicken pot 'hand' pie recipe some time back and will forever be wishing I was eating one (I really do wish I had a hand pie right now). It is a simple dough, especially for the uninitiated pastry dough makers (as I was).

Simple to make and forgiving with the roll out, I found it easier the second time around because I knew how the dough should feel (and cared only that it make the flaky sinful goodness that I had the time before). First time, I made the recommended chicken filling, but for a different take at Easter brunch I diced ham and onion and cilantro and irish chedder and filled tiny little pockets of dough with the stuff. There are no pictures because I was literally attacked as I pulled them out of the oven. So good.

It was not enough to just have one hand pie in the arsenal so I went on to try the Rick Bayless/America's Test Kitchen Empanada recipe (in part because of the hand pie angle but also because I follow Erika's recommendations very often)(also scroll down to second recipe in the page link). This one was a winner. The dough again proved easy and has the intriguing inclusion of a cup of vodka. No idea if this does something magical but I could roll and re-roll the dough and it all tasted fine once out of the oven.

I love the savory filling of meat/olive/raisin and barely got a picture before I attacked it.

Onto Cake :: There is a cake that has lingered in the back of my brain for some time. I read a poast by Orangette about an olive oil cake last year; it had olive oil, yes, but also whole citrus fruits and ground almonds and this just seemed so right. We are peaking in the citrus season with plenty to be pulled off local trees and so the time finally came. This cake requires some time, the whole orange and lemon are simmered until soft, the almonds go into the oven to toast/roast and then require grinding.

The result is fantastic, crumbly and sweet and almond-scented and just delicious. If you want to eat cake that requires nothing but a plate and fork, this is it.

The recipe introduced my to roasting my own almonds and I now have a new addiction. The first batch of almonds came out way too 'toasted' but I was dialed in after another two batches. I noticed the almonds (which started as a bag of raw almonds) now tasted similar to the bags I buy from Trader Joe's to keep in the car for snacks. Except the raw almonds are about 1/2 the price of the prepared and now I have control over the flavor profile of my roasted almonds (flavor profile, always wanted to use that word, and yep, I have been watching that Bobby Flay chef comp thing).

My favorite so far is the brown sugar, chile powder, salt mix. I just tossed the almonds with the above and a little olive oil and baked at 350 for 6-7 minutes, shaking the pan and taking a test almond after the initial 6-7 minutes. It probably depends on your oven but I highly recommend this method of making your own delicious roasted almonds.

And now that we are hitting upon almost Summer season (and temperatures)here, I have ushered in a few new refreshing beverages. On the non-alcoholic side, a huge glass of water with tangerine rind and mint leaves. The citrus peel is sweet and refreshing with almost no bitter and the mint makes it special.

And for the occasional Friday cocktail, I suggest fresh grapefruit juice, sugar, mint and vodka. Lots of ice and a seat on the deck or patio and you are ready to go.


Okay, now I am starving. I need a hand pie. Stat.

But I really should be eating these fresh from the garden and working out more to work off the hand pies. Man, I love hand pies.

*** And Happy Mama Day to us all; we may not all be one, but we most definitely all have one. And so I wish upon all of us a wonderful day that fills up with love, no matter of where you are at in the world of Mothering ***

Baby {Making}

A few years ago I had no idea what babies needed. I did not have any babies. I had ideas about what they needed but these were far from concrete. Now, 4 years out I feel that I have a better grasp. Babies need diapers (lots), something to eat (breast/other as long as they are fed) and lots and lots of your time. Not much else really. Well, they usually get lots of other things but don't you think it really comes down to the essentials most of the time?

That does not mean we do not like to give them lots of other things and I am no exception. This month is the month of baby for me; my boys were born in April and now I have a new niece who has recently just come into her own and two small people forming up in two lovely sisters. Lots and lots of baby.

Couple all the baby with my new love of quilting and there have been many projects making their way to the sewing table (which is really just our huge long wooden dining table).

(Sewing space has been dismantled in favor of painting the wall a deep juicy red). (Man, painting just keeps going and going around here).

I think my confidence has grown with the quilting after successfully feeding two queen size quilts through my little machine and finding such happiness with the result. The first was for the boys, the second for our bed. The summer scrappy quilt is done!

400 plus 3.5 inch squares joined, sandwiched, quilted and only waiting for binding. Full pictures of that one to come.

Right now there are two quilts in progress. The first was inspired by JulieFrick who is a quilting machine lately. She is cranking out beautiful projects and I was inspired by her plus sign quilt. I had a stack of boy fabric that I purchased at Purl in Soho.
It sat without
a plan until the plus. But now it has found a place to be, sewn into this quilt top for baby S due this summer. The design is simple enough, I approached it with some chain piecing and it came together quickly.

I have the backing cut and ready to be sewn and then it is the simple matter of quilting which seems like a breeze after the giant-ness that was queen quilting. Yippee.

The second is for Rose, my niece to be. I found a link from Liesl at Disdressed about the quilt art show in NYC that featured Red & White Quilts. I drooled a bit over pictures, wishing with all of my heart that I could be there. Impossible but it did inspire me to try my own red and white combination.

I have all the fabrics chosen and washed and ironed and today I cut up strips with plans for 9 patch prettiness.
Another yippee.

Both little ones are due in summer but the baby showers are in a few weeks. I thought I might make the deadline but I know now that will not happen. Instead of applying that pressure that makes the making of things less fun, I thought I would just enjoy the process and aim to get the quilts done by the babies' arrival(s). So onward from here because babies may not need quilts, but I know that they need LOVE and to me this is a great way to send it to my far North family.

The only problem with quilting is that it addictively pulls you in and there are only so many hours in the day.

Want to see a Tim project? Yippee for wine cabinets that hold lots of wine and cute little boys.

He made it from scrap wood and all from hand. That man. He sure can make.

A Finished Quilt

Last week I picked up a patient that lives in the old historical home section of our town. The home is all beautiful old moulding and detailed finishing and as I walked back to his bedroom I peeked (as I always do) through doorways and around corners. The first spare bedroom held a high bed covered in a huge wedding ring quilt, crisp and colorful in the window light. Another room held more quilts and he himself was covered by a crocheted granny square blanket, the pattern one of black borders with bright centers. It made me happy to be there despite the fact that I was there to see a sick person.

Last week I also finished my first real quilt. In the past I have dabbled, a small child quilt here, some blocks that never came to be a quilt top there. But this one was special. I started it in Tahoe, alone in a quiet condo sewing away at the blocks that became a top that became a sandwich and finally ran in long lines through my little machine .... and became a quilt.


There is something so very satisfying about seeing it. It is big, enough to cover their queen bed. It is a little wonky and when I washed it, it shrunk quite a bit more than I realized.

It is simply pieced and simply quilted. I was nervous as I ran it through the machine, the long lines of stitching wavering at times, my arms wrestling and tired by the end.

I pieced the binding and watched some new favorite shows as I hand sewed the back. And then at last I laid it on their bed and waiting for some window light to capture the end result.


But the best part was the way my boys received it. Aware that it was made for them, looking at the littlest detail because there are wheels and stop lights involved. Hiding and peeking and jumping and pulling on it until I was laughing harder than they.





I asked the wife of my patient about the quilt. It was a gift to them 37 years ago. Someone pieced and stitched it together for them and it followed them through their long lives, cherished and as beautiful as the day it was given.

That is why I make things. To find a way to express a moment made timeless, to place love, to give it a feel and a location. To remember that we are designed to create, that it fills more than just the maker.

And now that I have unlocked this newest way to make, somewhat secure int he knowledge that I can actually quilt a queen size on my little cheap machine, well, it feels like the sky is the limit.
Now, back to those 400 or so 3.5 inch squares I have been trying to transform.

Happy making, friends, however it is that you do so in your days.

LOVE :: Making Valentines

Always a wrench to be thrown into the works .. now we are dealing with a fevered ear-aching really sad little boy (with another one on his heels, I am quite sure). Ah, sick season. I should learn not to declare anything any more. But I can still muster up a little LOVE.



A few months ago I was sucked into the vortex that is Pinterest. If you are not there yet, I do apologize for enabling you. It is super good but a super time suck so I have tried to limit my time there. The best thing about it is the sheer amount of wonderful and doable stuff that crops up among my group of people. I found a simple Valentine idea a few months ago and because I could see the visual 'pin', I actually went back and did them.


The project is a felt fortune cookie packed with little goodies. We had all the needed bits on hand :: felt, glue gun, ribbon and floral wire.


The idea came from the always spot on Martha Stewart website and took no more than an hour. It was fun because the boys were able to help quite a bit, they cut out sticker treats, wrote on the tags and helped quite a bit with the tootsie roll placement (and consumption).

And I enjoyed it which is an important component when crafting with kids. If you are looking for a handmade Valentine for the littles (or even for a few of your most special friends) I recommend this one.


You still have a day or two to git her done. Happy crafting, friends.

Simple Gift

There has been an onslaught of children's birthdays in our lives and that means the need for something to bring to the birthday parties. I have really wanted to stay true to the idea that we need to give less and use what is on hand ... plus I am obsessed with chalk lately which led to a really great birthday gift idea.


This is really just a piece of plywood that Tim cut down to placemat size and rounded off the edges, then I primed it and coated it with three layers of chalkboard paint. The end product is a cute child-sized board ready for any little person's hands. They were a huge hit with the boys and the adults, people scribbling away on them daily. I made extra and was glad for it when the party rounds hit.


They are easy to give with a box of chalk taped to the board (super cute washi tape, I think it is called). There is no need for wrapping or a card as you can write the message directly on the present. The only thing I would change next time is to add a little block with felt for erasing. Otherwise, good to go.


I love that it is home made and holds to the ideas and ideals we are trying to keep present. It is impossible to show up to a party with nothing, that just seems too rude, but I hesitate to go out and contribute to the ever growing pile of discarded toys. This is such a nice way to say 'We love you, now go write something down'.

Speaking of chalkboards, I finally went and finished the wing wall in our kitchen, sanded it down smooth after my magnet paint debacle of over a year ago, then coated it with more chalkboard paint.

I love it and have been using it heavily for daily quote inspiration, list making and boy scribbling. Yay for finally completed projects. More to come.

My fave quote so far ""If I had 8 hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend 6 sharpening my axe."
Abe Lincoln

Loving Antalya

I'm in a bit of a love affair right now.


With my knitting. Yeah. Always try to keep it racy around here, right? But this friend of mine, one that had taken back seat for some time, has now come to the forefront and I am loving it though my wrists and fingertips are not.

It started with this hat designed by MJ.


I rarely peruse Ravelry right now, just not enough time. The lack of exposure to beautiful knits definitely cools the inclination to knit. But Julia linked up to the hat in a group email and I instantly fell in love. Interesting construction, cables, short rows. What is not to love? And then I felt up the test knit at our holiday meet up and I knew I had to commit. And I am so glad I did.

I am not done ... and I know people rarely actually blog about knitting anymore, especially without a FO to show, but man, I am loving this knit.

I am also finding myself highly in love with the recommended yarn, Valley Yarns Amherst. Warm 100% wooliness. The combination is irresistible and is helping my knitting mojo in spades.

The other thing spurring it is the fact that we might actually someday live in a climate that encourages the wearing of 100% wool handknit sweaters (for you non-knitters out there ...when you combine wool and hand knitting they tend to produce a very very warm garment). I have been discouraged in the past by knitting something that I wear only once or twice a year due to the lack of seasons in Southern California. Last weekend up in Northern California in the foothills hovering just below the snow line, all I could think about was thick knitted cabled cardigans, and cowls, and hats and scarves and mittens (oh my!). Highs in the 40s and lows in the teens make for knitted clothing options indeed.

And so in a possibly unwise, but I cannot help myself decision, I have recommitted to knitting this amazing, cable dense, hand wrecking love of a cardigan, the Saddle shoulder Aran cardigan designed by EZ/Meg Swanson and re-intepreted by Jared of Brooklyntweed glory. The ribbon, the horse shoe, the saddle shoulder. All so lovely, and possibly worn by myself in the future quasi farm setting perfectly complemented by my Hunter wellies. Ah the dreams we dream.

But to be honest, I have always wanted to knit that cardi and the hat I am working through is a reminder of the powerful beauty that is produced by the simple act of string on stick, loop and pull through. Those of you who do knit know the joy of watching a piece unfold and twist and turn in a language that is literally dictated by two bits, not 0 and 1, but knit and purl.

Those of you that do not knit, how I wish you could. If only to watch with fascinated eyes as your hands make this out of the hieroglyphs that is a knitting pattern chart.


Oooh, it feels good to have some knitting mojo back. And if I do work my way through the saddle shoulder cardigan and find that my mojo holds, how about this for a beauty of a piece. Alice Starmore has re-released her book Aran Knitting with a new pattern combining the joy of cables with the option of shaping to avoid that boxy sweater look that makes curvy girls look like sacks o'potatoes. Is it weird that I am dreaming of the knitting of Eala Bahn already? Probably.

Almost There

I have been trying to take it easy on the Holiday making front but as always, I have gone and bit off more than I can chew. It seems like JoAnns is perennially out of the bamboo stuffing I need to finish this and that toy, that I have misplaced my scissors, bobbins and brain on every occasion possible, and oh yeah, that thing called work? It is being terribly pesky and will not let up and let me be. It seems like people really prefer to wait to get sick just before the holiday. Sorry, that sounds horrible, it is just this can be a really busy time at work, right about that time one would wish it is not.

So, the making? It is going. Little stops and starts, but going. There are some textured knit mitts working their way off the needles. And a slew of hats that need to be packed and shipped North (they are going to end up being New Year gifts instead of for Christmas/Boxing Day ... but I am pretty sure the snow will still be on the ground up there in Canada).


This sweater which I finished some time ago is meant for a new little one that lives in a cold climate. It is a hybrid version of the Placket Neck Sweater from LMKG. I used the raglan shoulder decreases, but changed the neck line to this cute shruggy ribbed collar. I like it.

Though I do tend to knit really looong arms on all my bebe sweaters. As a mama, I should know better and stick with 3/4 sleeves that stay free of all the muck and guck. Note to self :: 3/4 sleeves next time.

Lately my knitting has been all about the simple 'sans pattern' project. It is nice to be able to visualize something I want to make, do some quick math and come out the other side with a pretty piece for someone.

This hat just makes me happy, nice colors and some comfortable earflaps to keep someone warm. This was knit top down which makes it super simple to size; just increase until it feels about right, knit until that feels right, switch to a edge stitch you like and wa-la! A hat.

The machine sewing has stalled lately but I anticipate a few hours this week to power through the planned projects. I was totally sidetracked by the wonderful felt ornaments over at Posie Gets Cozy. I always love her attention to detail and I could not resist downloading the latest ornamanet directions. Then my hands just started cutting felt and stitching bits which quickly became the sweetest little coat.


This ornament is going to one of my favorite friends. She is that friend, the one that makes the most perfect handmade Christmas cards and looks like she walked out of an Anthropologie advert and yet is so sincere and lovely and wonderful. Hard to buy for but this will be just right for her to hang on her tree.


So, the all the plans may or may not come through. I did a lot of prep work this weekend and plan to watch some holiday movies with sewing and knitting needles in hand. There are a few boy dolls that need limbs and eyes, another little inchworm in the making and some Christmas pants. Wish me luck.


And happy holidays, however they are shaping up for you and yours.