I planned on posting about knitting today, but the morning took a different turn. We were having a great one, the cool morning allowed us to play in the backyard, the boys in the dirt, me in the chair with a new project. No obligations to meet, just home. As we were winding things down for nap, I heard Owen crying and found him on the ground, holding his foot next to a bee. I found the stinger in his big toe and kinda' freaked out. I am not a jumpy Mama, I usually find kisses and a hug work great for even the bigger injuries. But, for some reason, this made me really nervous. Tim has a 'reaction' to bee stings, not deemed an allergy, but he never does well after a sting.
I pulled out the stinger and called Dr. L's office. The irony is we were in for our well baby visit yesterday and I commented to my Mom that we have never been there unless it was for a well check-up. Ah, Murphy, you love to visit after these type of comments, do you not? Anyway, I described his reaction (foot swelling and redness) and they asked me to come in to have him checked out. I grabbed a few things, handed Mace off to my Dad and drove to the office, feeling really scared. Owen was fine, but fell asleep in his seat on the way there, I kept glancing back to make sure he looked fine. It is only about 10 minutes to the office and he really was fine. By the time we got there, his foot was barely red and not even swollen.
I went in anyway, feeling a little silly at being the over-reactive Mama. We checked in and sat for a few minutes, maybe 10. And that is when I realized that I have never been alone with Owen out in public. I had taken Mace a few times in the early days, but never O. And here we were, sitting in the office (the very same one he tried to tear apart yesterday) watching the fish in the tank and the bubbles that periodically rose out of a sunken ship . He pointed and talked a bit, he cuddled most of the time, was fine to stand on the scale by himself and let Dr. L check his breathing with reluctance, and the whole time I just was there, watching him and it felt so weird.
Not too long ago there was a post on playing the twin card over at HDYDI. I commented that I don't because I just don't. And as they get older there is less of the card to play. But in the office I mentioned about 4 times that Owen was one of a set, that I had twins, and I felt like something was missing the whole time. The opposite of the twin card, I was putting it out there that there was another, he just was not here.
Sure it was easy to manage, I have never felt leaving the house has been as easy as it was during this impromptu (and unwelcome) visit. I had more than enough hands and I got to concentrate on O in a way that I never have while out. And I realized what a good Mama I am with the whole twin thing and how much I really, really like it. And for that, I am appreciative.
But I felt like I was a little empty and that people were seeing me with the one and not the other. And that I did not like. I know in the future we will likely do things with each boy, as an individual. But not yet, I am not ready for that yet. And I am so very glad I was blessed with these two people. Because they are so entwined in my heart. Hmmmm, I did not realize that the word entwined contains the very thing that resides in mine. My twins.
P.S. O is, of course, fine and they are both down for their nap with little rift in the daily routine. How abut that for a way to keep a good day going? So, I will get to the knitting stuff tomorrow. Right after I open my new package or yarn. Ahhhh.