Sunday, September 25, 2011

Good Stuff

I want to tell you so many things. I want to tell you about feeling good. So good.

Because more than one person and place told me I was needed and valuable and would make their place better. Because we wandered through open places where homes sprout out of the earth, homes that I dreamt of but forgot of that dreaming until the doors opened wide. Because yesterday a wide open opportunity cracked light into a place that has laid quiet and dim for many years.

It has been five days of immense change, possibility, opening. It started with a long drive North with my partner, you know, that one who lays next to me in the dark hours and struggles to hold the daily grind of life at bay in the light hours. The one who I forget to cheriah at times when the grind of life grinds on me. It was a good drive, full of talk of dreaming and doing. And also some loud ranting on my part that is always received so gently and taken so readily.

And then Thursday morning I walked nervously into a setting where I was anticipating grilling, questioning, proving. But the space was not that, it was courting. The courting of Me, my skills and person. I was blushing by the end of the two hours there. And I was encouraged and totally sold. The rest of the day we spent on winding roads, framed by old old oaks, winding into a town that is my kind of town. Old and new, seamless. A library that has a whole floor for children, tucked down creaking stairs and opening to space that says 'We love and value small people who want to read and learn'. Tiny local stores full of handmade and whimsy.
Nest under glass.
A school on a hill that advocates learning outside of the classroom. Victorians and cottages that beg to be owned because they cost a fraction, a reasonable fraction.
New home(s)?

And then Friday, another interview. Her first laughing line to me when I walked into her office? "Oops, guess I should have told you it is casual Friday," (giggle) as I stood in my 'dress up' clothes. The giggle put me at ease immediately and I liked this woman, one who could be my boss. I sat at a table with 6 people, my colleagues, told them about myself. And then got really pass-out nervous by the attention but they gracefully stepped in to give me a minute to recover. Then we just talked. About our work, what they want and what I want and the Universe said 'Bam!'. Because they need Me. Exactly what I am. They need someone who lives in that town that I was in yesterday, they need an experienced neuro specialist, they have plans, big plans. And they want me to be a part of it. I did not blush this time, I fiercely lobbied. Because I felt it, that click, that this was it, what I was wishing; for accomplished confident colleauges seeking growth and community and support. The only drawback is the position is not full time. So I have decided it is not a drawback only a sign for me to get in there and remind them why they need me there full time. I was offered both jobs which is so awesome, but Job #2 is it. I am hoping the Universe continues to speak to me, to help make it happen.

And then I met my baby niece, the newest person to join the expanding world of my blood. Giant eyes, lashed for days, animated beyond belief for her 4 weeks.
So wonderful, to hold her close and talk to her Mama and hug my brother, fiercely again, to see him move into this place in his life, to know we could be just down the way from them.

And then Tahoe, where I feel like my cup has run a little over. This weekend in Northstar there is a fundraising race and event. It is organized by Tara Llanes, a pro-mountain bike rider that was in a terrible crash that resulted in a spinal cord injury. She hosts the event every year and we have been there for three years in a row. Before I transitioned to home health, I was a neuro specialist, mainly stroke and brain injury, but I treated persons with SCI often. I make it a point to be there to contribute but I always wanted to do more than just show up.

This year a new company called CORE was part of the event. Click the link to know more but basically a young guy named Aaron Baker started the first fully adapted gym for people with functional limitations, things that might keep them out of a 'gym' setting. He opened in January, all equipment is designed for individuals that have need for special equipment and it costs 60 bucks a month to join. He wants to spread this love and by god, I am going to help him do it. My mind jumped immediately to opening one up here at the base of Tahoe, for those that have need for this 'niche' gym, as he called it.

I feel so passionate about this for many reasons. My greatest challenge when I worked in rehab was not the treatment, it was the discharge process. Telling a person "Your rehab is done, now go out and do your best in a world that does not accomodate many of your needs". I had a few resources to refer but they were all short term, anemic when you think of time in terms of years of recovery. No matter whether that person was 21 or 76, there is no place to tell them to go once their rehab dollars run out. But now there is, there is a vision that Aaron realized because he has a high complete cervical SCI and he never said to himself, "I can't".

The amazing thing? He walks, people. He is a high cervical complete SCI and he gets up out of his chair and walks. This is both miraculous and encouraging for anyone living with an injury. Actually, this is mindblowing. He says it is because he never stopped training his body to recover. I believe him.

So, wow. The Universe and its voice these past few days has floored me.
I am grateful and joyful and so very happy. And that is such a good thing.
That is what I wanted to tell you. And that I hope you are too, want to give some of it to you, my friends. It feels like so much right now, I have plenty to spare.



LauraC said...

I love love love that you are in this space. I realize I have been downright irritating at times over the last few years as everything has fallen into place for us, but it's one of those great feelings where you want to scream from the mountain tops.

YAY to going north!

PS. How could they NOT want you???

Jill said...

Ummm . . . AWESOME! I know how many times you've said you wanted to move North. Now you can make it a reality. So very happy for all of you!

jennifer said...

what an absolutely spectacular post, amiee! oh my goodness, i am so happy the rays of opportunity are shining down upon you + yours, that the stars are aligning just so. you are such a gift, sweet friend. and though we've yet to meet in person, your experience and wisdom have offered me comfort from afar in the past, and i treasure the strength i have gleaned from you.
of course they need you, and isn't it wonderful that you are in a position to recognize that, know all that you can bring to the table and help to build something even greater. looking forward to hearing more about this leg of your journey.
awesome awesome awesome.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Aimee! Yay for the power of dreaming and growing. Love and happy thoughts from the far North :)

Magpie said...

this is just lovely to read.

Dana said...

This sounds wonderfully, ridiculously, absolutely perfect. Congratulations!

oh, jenny mae said...

wow! wow! wow! on all of it.

congrats on the new directions. it will all happen. it will happen.

and about your friend, aaron. i completely agree about never giving up. a friend of mine with a TBI stayed with me 1 summer & the leaps and bounds he made that summer with me were so great b/c i wasn't going to let him give up like his parents do. i made him take dishes to the dishwasher, they didn't. i made him get his seatbelt on, his parents didn't. if you have the will, you can do so much.

Misty said...

I am so excited and happy for you! Beautiful post. The best kind. I can feel you all sparkly and glowy and happy. It's good.
Can't wait for the hug.