Saturday, January 17, 2009

On Crafting Friends

I remember a day in my earlier twenties when I sat down to think about my life. Profound, right? But it was. I was living in NYC, lonely, far from loved ones and far from comfortable. I wanted to reach out to someone, anyone who really knew me and I realized I couldn't. I searched my thoughts for the person and could not find one. It made me look at the fabric of my past friendships and I realized it was rent with holes, gaps where whole pieces and times had been taken out. And those scraps were lying there, a bit forlorn and discarded.

I had never been easy with female friendships. The ones I had were marked by intensity or competition of a sort, combustion, and in an attempt to avoid confrontation, total cut off. I had such a bad track record with other females I eventually gave up and ended up always hanging out with the guys, wary of the girls and all the complexity that went with it. And that made me sad, looking at it that day. No, I did not get up and find a number and call any of them. That did not feel right. Instead I decided to reach into my memory and gather those scraps and fashion a quilt of sorts. One that pieced my time back together and honored the quality and lovely parts of those friends, leaving the hard behind. And I felt much better that day.
30 Days :: Nineteen
My thirties are proving to be different in my world of friendships. I cannot claim to be a better friend that I was, I still value being alone, connecting when I want, and now, more so, when I can. But in this new time, I have found women to whom I feel truly connected, and friendships have developed that I cherish and wish I had more time to nurture.

Thursday was a celebration of sorts, of the women I have found via knitting and blogging and come to know in the real world as vibrant, intelligent and interesting. I am always glad to come together with them (and meet new ones, Jillian) and discuss not only fiber things, but life, mothering, choices and opinions. I like them all so much and always look forward to the time spent together. Never would I have thought these women would be people I called friend and I am delighted to have them. We who connect via the medium of the Internet 'know' each other in many ways, I am glad I have come to out of the blogworld to be a part of this community.
Knit friends
And the night at Unwind...let's see.

:: Got to meet Jess and Casey of Ravelry fame (felt like I was meeting rock stars, but they are totally awesome and super easy and cool to be around)(Duh)

:: Fell a bit in love with a bag that I did bring home because I fell a bit in love with the owners of the fantastic Namaste business.
Unwind Knit Night
(Uh, Dawn and Kelly rock the house and listened to me talk about my kids, and laughed because I guess I am kinda' funny).

::Finally met MJ in person (yay) and loved her like all the rest.
Unwind Knit Night
And confirmed with Lori that I can come hang out with her in the O.C. right? (Just joshing, L).
Unwind Knit Night
::Enjoyed time with other knitters, all wonderful including the ladies : Julia, Shan, Lori, MJ, Mary Heather, Jillian and Kat. If you have not read their blogs you should. They are all awesome knitters among other things.

::Was the only person to commit the faux pas of knocking over a full bottle of wine (in a knitting shop, mind you) and still they said they liked me and helped me clean up (I used the Mom of Twins with little sleep excuse for that one)(of course it was me, it is always me).
Unwind Knit Night

But I want to say thank you, friends. I find myself crafting a new quilt of friendships, one more thoughtful and meticulous than the first. One to be cherished even as we grow and move and change. For the first time in a long time, I find myself comfortable and happy and able to enjoy that which women bring to each other. Mercurial we may be, but essential and validating and just so lovely too. So thanks.

And let's do it again soon, okay?


jess said...

looks like it was white wine at least ;) sounds like fun times!

Preeti said...

I'm always the klutz at the party!! Looks like you had a great time surrounded by amazing crafters!

Marnie said...

Oh, I miss you all so much. Your photos are stunning as always and at least you knocked over white wine :D

Anonymous said...

Aw, what a lovely post! It was so nice to see you again, as always. I absolutely love and cherish our little group. Definitely again, soon! xo-S.

Kate said...

I used to be the same way--much more comfortable with the boys. But nothing can possibly beat the intimate friendship with another woman, especially as mothers. I think we need estrogen from others to recharge us. Glad you have your special group!

MJ said...

It was good to finally meet you! I'm sure we'll see each other again before I leave. Shannon's right, I love our little group of friends.

Thank god, nothing stuck in my teeth! Ha ha!

kat coyle said...

It was a fun night! I rarely go out so this was a big night out for me. I love your photos! I missed the wine spill. oops. sleep deprivation is a legitimate excuse!

gleek said...

sounds like a darn good time! :)

jillian said...

It was wonderful meeting you too! I also missed the wine spill, BTW :) Hee hee. Yes, we all must gather again soon.

Anonymous said...

that's funny my 20's have certainly been like that, up until I had kids of course so if 29 is when I really started having more girl friends. I have one good girlfriend I grew up with, we still stay in touch but we live far so we talk every few months on the phone, and my old college roomate whom I also talk to every few months and I see both of them about once a year on random occasions.

I always found less drama with guys, but now I really need more women in my life as I've hit that stage that men can't really fill.