Mama feels bad because it dawned on her that at your 15th month check up, Dr. L mentioned they were out of flu shots and that we could come back any time in the following weekend. To which I nodded, and then promptly forgot. Until a few days ago. This is a mistake I will never ever make again.
It was a lesson in patience, both the having of and the loss of. There were many times when I felt like I was going to lose it, up and leave, or cry in exhaustion and despair. I did a little of the last but managed not to resort to the first two. It was tough on my body and mind with the constant carrying, the constant needs. Countless hours spent shifting one from arm to arm, lap filled with sad little boys that needed to be held on shoulder, protesting if we sat when you wanted standing, stood when you wanted sitting. Watching how your little bodies shrank in light of food refusal. Not my favorite month, but still, I guess I want to remember it all, don't I?
And of course, interspersed in the days of sick and ick were plenty of things that I can smile about. Games and new skills, smiles when you could manage or when the coughs eased up a bit.
One of the best is the new story time when I ask you both if you remember .....this _____, or that ____. And you listen with rapt eyes and attention until the end and then Mace, you say...'uh-huh' or 'yeeeah' excitedly. The video shows it much better.
My favorite is when I ask if you remember the times when you were inside of me...and you still say 'Uh-huh'. Who is to say you don't?
And Owen, you are my little sous chef now.
The way you drag your chair to the counter and rearrange the food items out for dinner prep, place them bowl to bowl, stir them and whack them and salt them...oh, you do love salt, kid. Though I have to say, maybe the zucchini bread did not need those extra shakes on the top. Your liberal use of salt is endearing, but not very tasty. I love the way you concentrate on the task at hand, stirring carefully when instructed and adding the ingredients when told. You are learning to cut, to mix, to pour and I see the love for it in your eyes. It is just that when I turn my back sometimes, well, you get a little crazy on stuff.
And that can require a little more in the clean up in the kitchen area than I like.
Daddy has assumed the role of 'God night Moon' reader and I think the three of you would spend hours finding the mouse and the various assorted other items in that book. I love listening to you talk to your Daddy and tell him what is next, what you see, what you love. Mace, every time you see the page with the little lone mouse you giggle. The best giggle ever.
And I am training you to say ..."mama's knittens" instead of "pair of mittens" because that is just better, you know? But something happens to my heart when I hear your Daddy reading you 'The Lorax' or 'The Places You'll Go', hear your voices say 'more?' when he finishes. It seems you really can fall more in love with someone, for the most wonderful reasons.
We started teaching you the 'I Love you this much' game that I played with my mama when small. I hold my fingers together so close then stretch my arms out wide to finish. And Daddy does his different with a clap and stretch. And you laugh and laugh and say 'more?. Tonight, as we played, I think we both realized this is how much our parents love us, and that you may never really understand how much that is. Until you have your own.
So, you two, let us leave Month 22 with its yucky noses and wheezing lungs and welcome Month 23 with clear bright eyes, loads of fun and much less drama, shall we?
I love you boys. So very much. Slow it down a little, huh?
And props to the husband that took the majority of the shots...you are so good, love.