Saturday, January 09, 2010

On Dreaming in the New Year

I feel like it has been a bit quiet here since the New Year. That is far from the case inside of my head. It always feels like the newness of the year should somehow be reflected in my posting, but so far this year I have yet to set any goals or resolutions for myself. Instead I have just been thinking.

Starting Monday, I will be participating in a 6 week online course about dreaming. Not of the nocturnal variety, but of the big (or small) and more esoteric dreaming. It is called Mondo Beyondo and it is the idea of two wonderful creative women bloggers that I have read for a very long time, Andrea and Jen. I signed up as a birthday present to myself back in October. The time is now here and for some reason, though I am a little excited, I feel a lot of apprehension.

I have been trying to put a finger on it, this apprehension. It is not something I feel often and usually it is associated with things I put in the class of "not so important" like paperwork unfinished. I am thinking it has something to do with the whole idea of actualizing my dreams.
Farmer's Market :: Claremont

Here is the thing...I cannot seem to define exactly what my dreams are. I do not put them in the same place as goals, they should be more sweeping, grandiose, special than the old "lose 10 pounds and clean the house more". I think it is because I am not sure of the "what and how" that I am feeling adrift, like I am peering through murky water and cannot quite make out the shape and form, but know it is there.

I have never felt like a dreamer, too practical and yet also too able to believe that things work themselves out. I do not dream about writing a book or creating a personal business or making it big. I feel really happy with what I have in my daily life and rarely think of striving to change that, or even add to it. Our life is far from perfect, we have challenges with money and time and balance. We have never quite finished the house or the garden, but it all feel like it will come together someday.
Farmer's Market :: Claremont

I have been asking myself if I am shying away from defining a dream because then it is real and out there, open for all to see. If my dream is made clear, then others can know it and acknowledge it and it goes forth from where?

Maybe one step was in the choosing of a word for the year...that of Gypsy. Now I just have to figure out what that really means. In real life and real time. If I am a bit absent here, then you know what I am working on.
Farmer's Market :: Claremont

All the photos are of really beautiful vegetables and fruits because so far this year those vibrant colors have really been catching my eye. Not sure how relevant these are but I just really really like them.


jillian said...

You are too such a dreamer. Such a thinker. Don't be apprehensive - you'll do great in this class!

LauraC said...

I think signing up for the class means you are dreaming, just not sure about what yet.

Can't wait to hear about the journey!

Jenn said...

Have a great time with your class! I bet during the whole process you'll discover your more of a dreamer than you give yourself credit :)

Sereknitty said...

Amazing photography! I love the colour of all the various veggies -- so beautiful.

Jess said...

Hard to dream when there are so many concrete immediate needs, isn't it?

The photos are incredible. What kind of camera do you use? The colors really pop.

Anonymous said...

I think the photos of the vegetables are very relevant.
They are new and bright and fresh. At the same time
they are organized and 'catch your eye' as you say.
They nourish you, they entice you. When you really
relaxed at the end of your post - your 'dream' came
through. We have to wander about sometimes losing
a bit of reality and letting the dream and the creativity
take over. You were doing that with the choice of the
beauty of the vegetables. Dreams and creativity are
just below the surface (like the vegetables) that in the
right moment come forward. No need to fret. Relax. And they will come forward when you do.

Anonymous said...

Aimee - I am Julia's Mom and have been enjoying your post for some time now. They boys are so cute
and you have a wonderful way of expressing yourself
that I just adore. I wrote the preceding post because
I was so moved, both by your words and the photos.
I signed anonymous because I didn't quite know how to work the identity at the end - getting old! You aren't particularly searching for anything because you
'have' it. No doubt the class will just make you more
aware of what's already inside you. Have fun!

Sadia said...

I can't wait to hear where dreaming takes you!

Kellee said...

Lovely images. I'm looking forward to hearing all aobut your journey, and will be quietly cheering you on in the background. )