Starting Monday, I will be participating in a 6 week online course about dreaming. Not of the nocturnal variety, but of the big (or small) and more esoteric dreaming. It is called Mondo Beyondo and it is the idea of two wonderful creative women bloggers that I have read for a very long time, Andrea and Jen. I signed up as a birthday present to myself back in October. The time is now here and for some reason, though I am a little excited, I feel a lot of apprehension.
I have been trying to put a finger on it, this apprehension. It is not something I feel often and usually it is associated with things I put in the class of "not so important" like paperwork unfinished. I am thinking it has something to do with the whole idea of actualizing my dreams.
Here is the thing...I cannot seem to define exactly what my dreams are. I do not put them in the same place as goals, they should be more sweeping, grandiose, special than the old "lose 10 pounds and clean the house more". I think it is because I am not sure of the "what and how" that I am feeling adrift, like I am peering through murky water and cannot quite make out the shape and form, but know it is there.
I have never felt like a dreamer, too practical and yet also too able to believe that things work themselves out. I do not dream about writing a book or creating a personal business or making it big. I feel really happy with what I have in my daily life and rarely think of striving to change that, or even add to it. Our life is far from perfect, we have challenges with money and time and balance. We have never quite finished the house or the garden, but it all feel like it will come together someday.
I have been asking myself if I am shying away from defining a dream because then it is real and out there, open for all to see. If my dream is made clear, then others can know it and acknowledge it and it goes forth from there...to where?
Maybe one step was in the choosing of a word for the year...that of Gypsy. Now I just have to figure out what that really means. In real life and real time. If I am a bit absent here, then you know what I am working on.
All the photos are of really beautiful vegetables and fruits because so far this year those vibrant colors have really been catching my eye. Not sure how relevant these are but I just really really like them.