Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sometimes....

Sometimes I just can't.
I can't find the time to blog, much less breathe.
I can't finish anything correctly, not my paperwork or my cooking of dinner or even a conversation.
I can't figure out if my boss has some secret agenda, whether my kids are going to be okay or where the line between work me and home me falls.
I can't see the end of it, the solution, the fun in a situation and it all starts to feel like obligation.
I can't get away from the fact that my responsibilities are bigger than they have ever been, that I am leaving it for a week and I am not even sure how I feel about that.
I can't even play.

At least I feel a little better acknowledging this somewhere.

Brought to you by a maelstrom of hormones, jitters and fatigue.

8 comments:

LauraC said...

Sorry to hear this. Please know we all feel like that at time. That overwhelmed feeling was exactly why I decided to go part time. I just couldn't keep up the marathon anymore of being a working mom with a traveling husband and keep ME in the equation.

PS. Marnie said you are visiting and let me say I am jealous that you get to meet Marnie and Dawn within a 10 day time period. Hopefully connecting with them with help.

PPS. And crap did I ever mention I put together a team for Warrior Dash Austin that includes Rachel and Jennifer (motherhood squared), Lisa (Ferrara Flies), Tracey (Silverman babies) and that Erin (Seki babies) and Sadia are planning to come watch? I have a feeling these Warrior Dashes are going to become a yearly tradition!

PPSS. I only have time to blog bc I am paid to sit in front of a computer 8 hours a day.

K8 said...

Hang in there, it often seems overwhelming and impossible before it starts to get better and you find yourself and your stride.

kitchendoor said...

Dude. I feel you.

love, love.

jillian said...

It will get better - because nothing lasts forever!

mondojen said...

Yes. No. Life's given you a lot because you can handle it. You can flourish in it. You can be bigger than yourself most of the time. And yes sometimes it sucks. But I have found that is typically the case slightly before a big massive wave of fun. You will be playing in Brooklyn. I promise you that. I just wish I was going to be with you.

xoxo

I Saw You Dancing said...

Your week away will be exactly what you need.
Everything you do is as splendidly imperfect as you are, and the way that you own that is the best gift you can give to your family, your profession, and your self.
Much love.

Kellee said...

This happens to the best of us. You will find your way, through. I'm sorry you are feeling this way now. *hugs*

Claroux said...

I am so thrilled that I get to give you a big hug in real life very very soon.

I don't blog anymore because I can't find the energy to time to and I don't want to show the world how ugly my life is sometimes. GOOD FOR YOU for throwing it all out there. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and it's good that you let us look into the dark parts of your life as well.

I think you may have actually inspired me to start to write again. I need to realize that it's okay to not be perfect and to not put on a smile and a good show all the time.

Regardless, you are a strong and beautiful woman! The fact that you can still create and mother AND work at the same time constantly has me in AWE of you.

HUGS