Friday, July 30, 2010

Upward Growth

This is the view from our kitchen table.


I literally drink it in most mornings as I sit with a cup of coffee. Some mornings are quieter than others, today was quiet and I took a little walk out to see how the growing of things are going. I love looking for new flowers and fruits. The vines give me special pleasure because I love those curly shoots they send out, seeking a hold on any willing bit...sometimes twining around other plants, sometimes climbing the metal grid, purchase found.


There have been set backs...the ants marching along the straight sides of the raised beds, farming their aphids and impervious to my attempts to eradicate their efforts. I let it go sometimes. Others day I dump non-toxic detergent on all the edges and watch as they slowly let go of that path and then, yep, just find a new one. Persistent fucks.
But this was not going to be a post about the garden. Things grow once established and I am learning when to step in and when to be patient. This is going to be a post about upward growth. obligatory Blogher post.

I am going to Blogher10 this year....will be on a jet plane headed East next Wednesday morning. I bought the ticket on impulse months and months seemed like the perfect way to get back to NYC, a place I left in 98' and have yet to visit again. It seemed empowering and exciting and a chance to be with Me...and thousands of other women. It stills seems like those things.

There is also the fairly prevalent feeling of doubt and worry. I went to a pre-Blogher meet up in L.A. proper and met some lovely women. And finally met Neil. I had no cards to give and stumbled a bit when telling people what my blog is about but everyone was very nice. It was loud, when is it not when more than a few women gather? It was eye opening because I realize I do not know/read many blogs lately so I swam a bit trying to 'place' people. Overall, it was a good experience, a tiny taste of the conference maybe and I came home and ordered some cards so my hands do not feel so empty. I don't know, it might look a little weird if I wander around the Hilton knitting a hat or hand stitching a cathedral pane cube.

I have decided to allow this to be an experiment in Vertical Growth. I see that my garden has all it needs and is doing it's thing. A good lesson...

I am excited in a heart in the throat way because I am leaving my family (I decided on a full week because I want time outside of the weekend to see the City (and Marnie :)). I get a quick heartbeat when I realize that the boys and Tim will be quite a plane ride away for 8 days. I get excited to think about waking up for a few mornings and be able to stare at a blank wall in my friend's loft for a few hours if I so choose. I am going to take a class with a Master of African dance who has a smile that shines like brilliant sunlight. I am going to swim in a sea of 1000s of women. I am going to the Cloisters because it is serene and I might need some serenity after a few days.

And though I have fallen out the habit of reading and writing blog posts, though time has been scarce to connect to some of my online people, I want to meet you. I want to say hello to you. I want you to say hello to me. I want to learn about your life and grab your card and give you mine (given that they are delivered in time) and get tipsy and laugh and maybe stumble in my pair of Blogher heels (another obligatory).
Blogher shoes

This is me....and I will be looking for you too.
Me now
Say hi here or there, pretty please?

(Smeary eye make up at 7 a.m.? That's how I roll. You'll see).


Bon said...

i love the shoes. i am also amazed at your 7am look. at 7 am the casual observer could barely tell i HAVE eyes.

you know i'm sad not to be going - i'd thought this might be my year, and you are one of the people who makes the wistfulness potent.

but i cannot wait to hear about it.

LauraC said...

I am also sad I am not going but can not wait to hear about it.

One day we will meet!

And my August Mondo is I am finally going to learn to walk in heels. My friend and I are going shopping on Sunday. And then I will rock them in my October Mondo, getting boudoir photos taken.

Kellee said...

You are going to have a wonderful week, and you will be doing it all rocking an ADORABLE pair of heels. SO CUTE.

I hope you have a wonderful time. I won't be there this year.. maybe next year, though. Of course, I said that last year. hehe :) Have fun!

Magpie said...

i will look for you :)

Claroux said...

I'm impressed that you even have makeup on at 7 AM!!!

I cannot believe that in exactly one week I will be picking you up at he bus station!!!!! And when are you going to the Cloisters? I don't know if you're looking for solo serenity but as close as I am to NYC I have NEVER gone there and have always wanted to! I would totally meet you up there if you'd have me!

This week will be wonderful for you. Meeting lots of amazing women, reconnecting with yourself....I think it's just what you need. Frankly I'm jealous!

See you soon! ( I LOVE that I can write that)!!!

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