Happenings

Things are running along over here in the Bean household. It was an adjustment after our trip, going back to daily life without Daddy. I tell you, there is just not enough time in the day (or night) and then there are times when the day drags so slowly (like the 630 p.m. baby meltdown time). But the Beans are doing nice napping now, for now, and I plan on taking advantage of this as often as possible.


I did finish the first set of baby legwarmers (by the way, this was an idea culled from some other web site but I have no idea whose). I did not immediately cast on for the second pair because I rummaged through my bag of knitted stuff and discovered a pre-birth project that seemed manageable. It is the NALGAR sweater as described in Knitting Workshop. I started it right before bringing the Beans into this world. I got a bit discouraged due to the way the sleeves were knitting up, and I mean UP.
But I was reassured by a lovely woman on the other end of the phone when I called Schoolhouse Press (do you not love knitters?) that the sleeves can be blocked down without issue. I have to proudly report I cast off the first sleeve a night ago (during a 3 hour black out in our neighborhood…praise be for my headlamp). And the second sleeve progresses and seems to be without issue. I love the way this sweater looks, it has a sporty-ness to it. I sized the chest to be roughly 20-21” which may correspond to a 1 ½ year old child, which works for me and possibly for them. It will be finished and then put away until proper fitting, but it feels really nice to work on it and it sticks with that commitment I made to tube shaped knitting. Clever, aren’t I?

I am finding that I am able to wrap my mind around non-baby thinking and reading, this may impress only myself, but I know a month ago the prospect of reading anything greater than a label on the baby lotion bottle gave me a headache. The things that severe sleep deprivation can do to you….it is not pretty. I did not write during that time, I could not. It was like being numb all the time. I might post about it at some point, I know most new mamas out there understand and may be going through some of it right now and I will just say….It does get better. It may only be better for this time, this week, but I just want to spread reassurance to any out there needing some. I know I needed it and was looking for it. I am so lucky to have received it. So, hang in and try to just enjoy the bits of things. And choose a Mantra. Mine was, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” (Thanks Dr. Dyer) I am still saying it daily, but maybe not as desperately. And then kiss you baby (or in my case, babies’) soft cheek and downy hair and say a prayer of thanks for them and their deliciousness.
Quick side note: The rocking chair is crafted by Sam Maloof, a stellar woodworker. My mother works for him and his foundation, this was at the opening of a gallery on his property. I had to include it because there is a sleeping baby and the chair is just lovely.

I am not sure which way to venture in the knit world now. I love baby knits and I know they are so easy, but they are not very practical for the climate in which we reside. I cannot count on either boys being able to wear the stuff I am knitting, so I might scale way back on any plans I once had for sweaters, etc. for them. I do want to do the Tomtens, but will also hold off on these as I should not be even slightly be entertaining the idea of yarn purchasing/stash enhancement. I have so much on display that at times I feel guilty for even thinking of putting more dollars that way. I have seen some lovely versions of many of these patterns but hesitate because it would likely be out of season by the time I finished even the simplest of the patterns. Or maybe not, maybe I could cast on for this or this and even if it is finished in January, I could layer wear it. Hmmmm. Knits for mama? Dare I try? Ambitious, but I shall look through yarn I have and patterns I love with tube like construction and maybe just do it.

Oh yeah, knits will also have to compete with a bit of ‘Return to Work’ stuff. I am very lucky to work in the home care setting on a per diem basis, but I do have to work. It is odd to even consider patient care…I have been off since December due to the PTL. I am lucky to work for a company that is comprised mainly of Moms. Home care positions accommodate motherhood better than most, the flexibility and setting are what drew me to a change last year at this time. I used to work in the very intense field of Brain Injury/CVA Rehab, but I knew this would not be something I could resolve or give myself to after children. I watched a special on HBO titled Coma last night…it brought back so much of my last 9 working years. I started very early in the field of PT, at 21 I was working in a major trauma hospital with the acutely injured, then I moved to the inpatient rehabilitation setting and found great reward, but the biggest challenges also. The documentary brought a lot of people and places back to me…those I have met along my career path, those who struggled with the immensity of change and loss in their lives. It is a private world that is not often displayed in our society. Bob Woodruff brought some light to it in his special on the men of Iraq returning with devastating head injuries. A part of me, the part that knows I am very, very good at what I do, regrets and grieves that I am not longer part of the healing process in the lives of those going through the challenge of BI/CVA but another part knows I could not do my position justice at this point. I need to reserve my Self for my sons. It is lucky that I have this choice. When I do return to work it will be in the homes of my neighbors, the nearby towns…it will likely be with our aging population, whose needs vary greatly. But I will have the choice to say yes or no to the people I see, and this one cannot do in the field of Rehab. Let’s hope my newly recovered brain power will lend itself to filling out the tedious medical paperwork that comes along with the convenience of working from someone else’s home.

So, so far we have two almost completed knit projects (yeah, yeah, I have not woven in the four ends on the blegwarmers), the contemplation of an adult knitting pattern and the return to work, and…..one more happening…I finally got back on my bike. It has been since August last that I rode the singletrack/trail in our ‘backyard’ and oddly enough it was jut like…uh…getting back on a bike. Tim and I slipped away Sunday morning and rode the trail I know like the back of my hand. It felt so wonderful, exhilarating really. I was flying downhill, Tim commented I might have been going a tad too fast for my first ride back, but it felt so amazing. First time in almost a year that I have moved without either beings in me or attached to me. I mean, we hike and stroll the little guys, but certainly not at the speeds we were going. I thought I would share these pictures as they are something I really enjoyed.



Onward ho…next week is the three month mark for the Beans. And I hope to take a lot of pictures of the Beans with both my sisters in attendance, they are visiting this weekend. First time Owen and Mason will meet their Tanta Mem. Tanta Manders has not seen them since little days. What a special thing to look forward to…

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming

We have knitting content. It is not much, but it is knitting. I had the chance to cast on and off on the simplest of projects…baby leg warmers. They are my new love.


Non-knit version: I improvised initially by ripping the seam out of some little Target knee highs and putting them on the boys upside down. Why?, you may ask. Well, we have so many onesies in their clothing repertoire, but we are sadly lacking in any pants. Baby pants seem to be hard to come by. And when they wear pants they look quite like little old men visiting from the Florida Keys. I am sure they prefer the leg warmers. It has been pretty hot around our parts, which insures the use of central air. We have a brand new system that cranks out deliciously cold air (with very efficient use of energy, I might add, as evidenced by our most recent electric bill. It was reasonable, a little God send in this one income for now family). Anyway, it helps to have something to slip on and off their plump little legs in order to dispel the chill. It got me thinking a bit ahead to cooler temperature times and I decided to try to knit something so….

Knit version: I mean, it could not have been any simpler. I had some lovely Calmer that was gifted to me the same week the Beans were born. Julia came by our little hospital room to meet both myself and the boys (Lord, that seems like a lifetime ago, does it not, Julia?) and in her generous spirit, left me with three balls of really lovely deep purple Calmer. And I have been checking it out in those few rare precious moments when my hands could fondle something other than baby skin. And Calmer is so soft. So I did it. I cast on 30 stitches on some random needle size (6..7?), did a twisted rib cuff and was off to st-st heaven. It cannot even be called a pattern and my tension is so terrible (we watched Shooter during some of the knit time and I started to pull tighter because of the story line. Good flick, by the way). I dropped a stitch somewhere and decided “F*** it, I ain’t going back” and I just tied it off. Really, I did, people. Shoddy. But I finished it, one whole leg warmer in a size that will likely fit them in a few months. This is imperative to allow proper wear of seasonable knits. So, it now awaits its partner, who is currently on the needles. On the needles, people.

I just decided I had to knit. One stitch, two rows, a leg warmer…it does not really matter. The knitting feels so good, it feels like me, it does something to the psyche. I know you who knit understand. And I don’t care that this project is beyond simple and, truly, may not fit them when they will actually need warm legs. I finished a piece, I will finish the next, I will cast on for the second pair (ahhh, twins, always trying to keep it equal). I may even try to make a bigger version for later in Winter (ahhh, Winter, when will she be here?). I have conceded that I will not be knitting sweaters anytime soon, I should not even entertain the ideas for projects that are not tube shaped right now. When I do re-enter that world, I already know what I want to do….the Tomten. Because look at this, they fit in it! And it is 95 degrees outside,
and they will not fit in it next week.(If you want to see the initial fit, you can click.) But the cuteness. So, it is a two year plan…I will make the toddler version for next next winter. Ha. That really takes the pressure off. I could even make the young adult/teen version, as that genius over at Brooklyntweed has done. But they likely would shun it as cheesy by that age. Toddler size should work as I can still forcibly dress them. (Rambling now, I think I may need some sleep, but it feels so good to write about knitting.)




One more little note…I have actually swatched for these planned Tomtens already…back in bed rest days. It is Morehouse Merino and the colors are so awesome. I did not buy the yarn, I have no idea how to figure out how much I need and that yarn is not cheap. But the bones of the plan are in place, so this could actually happen. For now I am sticking to tubes, but there is a little spark of hope that has been kindled. I know now I have to turn off the laptop and pick up the needles to get the knits in, this was discovered up at the Cabin where we had no Net access. This here, it is just a little check-in, you know, to let folks now I can blog about something other than baby (Well, technically it is all about baby knits, but whatever.) The day the Tomten comes back into play on my needles I will blog and then rejoice. But this is in the future. For now I will leave you with a shot of the hike we did in the foothills today. Can you find the Meesh?


Author's Note: Yes, I know they are boys and yes, I know they will eventually want to kill me for putting them in leg warmers. But I don't care cause they are so durned cute.

We're Back!

We made it back, all accounted for. It was just about the most fulfilling and awesome (and somewhat exhausting) trip we have ever taken.




It started out so well with the beans taking the 5 hour car ride in stride, very little seems to faze these guys and we are finding it is all in the timing. As long as we are in the vicinity of a sit down restaurant/travel stop within 15 minutes of a feed time, well, we are gold. And the elevation did not seem to do any damage either up or down, likely because they were furiously sucking on their 'goat teats'. We remembered all essential baby items, but I did discover that in my fervor to pack for the little guys, I overlooked a few items for Mama, namely all of my grooming supplies including hair pick, face lotion and wash, and, oh I don't know, clothes for me. Just kidding about the last thing, but it was a lesson in how much things change after babies. I have never forgotten my beauty bag before as it is tantamount to sacrilege to not wash my face at night and apply the elixir of the goddesses, Aveda's Botanical Kinetics hydrating face lotion. Found out Cetaphil works just as well (we may have to downgrade anyway as the budget does not seem to want to fit lotion and diapers in the same tally). Ah well, I had a good run of it while it lasted.

Anyway, the lake itself was as it always is, serene and soul filling. It is just one of those places. I really think the boys felt the same as we do. They ate al fresco and napped on blankies lakeside.



They experienced the world of hiking from the perspective of a baby bjorn and found it agreeable. Mishka was able to come along on the trip and was thrilled. She had a lovely time with swimming and walking and frolicking in the woods surrounding the cabin. It was good to be able to include her but we quickly discovered she adds up to Baby Number Three when she wants to be ornery. Oddly enough she has learned to make these times coincide with feeding time with the boys. Can't say shepherds are not smart dogs.



The thing I found the most wonderful was the undivided time we spent with the boys. Tim has not been able to be home daily since the first week. He, as so many other dads in the world, had to go back to work. Essential as it is that we have an income, it breaks my heart that he misses so much time with them. This week allowed him days of uninterrupted time with them, and as demanding as it is, it is also so rewarding.
We work really well as a team and found we even had some down time to rest on the porch with a cold Corona in hand, rocking and talking quietly, catching up, in a way.
It was good to 'unplug' from the world and gather our little family close and just bond again. He is such a strong partner and has an unbelievably easy way with the boys. And he is able to react calmly to their occasional screaming fits, something Mama cannot quite do yet. And he let Mama drive when she wanted to escape the back seat, willingly playing the role of entertainment to the Beans during those car seat rides that do not always go so smoothly. I tell you, some wonderful deity was looking out for me when they brought that man into my life.

Another thing I found refreshing was the reaffirmation that we can do things. Many people have commented to us how much our lives would change when these guys arrived. We are well-known in our circles for being travelers, whether in or out of country.
We love to camp, move around and explore. Well, the camping is on hold for a bit (we are not that ambitious), the moving is over (home ownership calmed the gallivanting) but the exploration does not have to end. It just has to change. It has to accommodate. And we are finding out it can. There are a lot of sacrifices one makes in parenting, but I was hoping it would not mean abandoning our life style. It is a simple life style and the things we love are easily accessed, a good trail or a blanket on the grass. I am glad so far that the Beans seem to enjoy these things.






We watched their gazes as they tried to focus on the many trees and sparkling lake and just took in the new surroundings. We brought them to our cove where they napped easily and wet their little toes a bit in the water. And though they were asleep, they even attended their first 4th of July fireworks. We now know these boys could sleep through the 'bombs bursting in air' when they are really tired. We shared a part of our lives with them that now will become intrinsic to theirs. It is such a feeling, this family thing. We look forward to more trips, more fun, more experiences with the Beans. Yay, Team Yatez!

We're Off!

Family Bean will be attempting our first trip starting tomorrow...it is highly anticipated and probably will be a singular experience. Tim and I have been visiting our family cabin in the Sierras forever, now the Beans will get their first taste. Wish us luck!


Sun protection, check! 10 million other essential items, check (I think!) Nearest Target is down in the valley so we better bring all the dipes and wipes and formula we can!